Quaytickets - Buy With Confidence.

CLINTON BAPTISTE is… STRATOSPHERIC!                    

From Bolton via Vegas…..to the stars!

Following the massive success of his last UK tour, clairvoyant medium and psychic Clinton Baptiste has gone exploring, stateside.

Not quite Caesar’s Palace but a series of shows in Vegas have lifted his celebrity status up a notch.  Let him take you on a journey from his humble roots via the dazzling heights of Sin City…..

…..and on to an amazing finale that will heal the world.

Viva Las Vegas…Viva Clinton!

Clinton Baptiste is the hapless, unsubtle psychic from Peter Kay’s Phoenix Nights. 
Following his sell out tour of 2019-20 “The Paranormalist Returns”, Clinton has taken a whirlwind tour of the US.
Hear his tales of rubbing shoulders with the hippy dippy new-agers from La La Land and how he hits the big time in Vegas with his lavish psychic show.
For a while things couldn’t be better.  A new lease of life, new teeth, new hair and a buttock lift. (Both of them.)  
But a humbly spiritual man at heart, Clinton realises that sometimes all that glitters ain’t gold and now returns to you, his beloved British audience to once again conjure up those pure selfless gifts he was born with.

For tonight, ladies and gentlemen, Clinton will all cast fame and fortune aside……and heal the world!

“From the moment Lowe dances onto the stage the audience absolutely loves his show.”
BRUCE DESSAU

“unashamedly crowdpleasing”
BEYOND THE JOKE

 “old-fashioned comedy at its best.”
British Theatre Guide

“I would highly recommend grabbing a ticket. Seats are selling fast and you certainly won’t be disappointed with this great evening of comedy.”
British Theatre Guide

“nothing short of genius.”
On Yorkshire Magazine

Written and performed by Brendan Murphy

Directed by Hamish Macdougall

Simon Amstell
Spirit Hole

With his first stand up tour since the release of internationally acclaimed feature film - ‘Benjamin’ and Netflix Special ‘Set Free’, Simon Amstell brings ‘Spirit Hole’ to a theatre near you.

‘Spirit Hole’ is a blissful, spiritual, sensational exploration of love, sex, shame, mushrooms and more. If you yearn for a night of unprecedented joy and laughter book now and avoid regret.

‘Simon Amstell has a gift for taking a social norm and gently mocking it until it seems utterly ridiculous’. The New York Times.

'Set Free'* is a masterclass in the soul-searching, abject comedy that has come to define a generation. VICE

‘The real deal’. The Guardian

Presented by Mick Perrin Worldwide Ltd
There is no age restriction but show is recommended 15+
*Previous show

20/20  - BRAND NEW STAND-UP SHOW

 Following overwhelming demand additional dates have been added for 2021

Critically acclaimed comedian Chris Ramsey is hitting the road for his biggest ever stand-up tour yet. Having filled venues across the country including The Newcastle Metro Arena (twice) don’t miss your chance to catch him live on stage while you can. 
 
His stand-up special ‘Approval Needed’ is available to stream on Amazon Prime now and alongside his wife Rosie he is also the co-host of the no.1 hit podcast Shagged. Married. Annoyed.

Downloaded a phenomenal 43 million times to date, Chris and Rosie won the Global Award’s Best Podcast Award, and British Podcast Award Listeners Choice in 2020, their brand new book launched in autumn 2020 reaching number one on both Amazon and the Sunday Times Best Seller charts.

“A brilliantly engaging natural storyteller”
Evening Standard
 
“Spinning blokey pub banter and unpretentious patter into stand-up gold”
The Guardian Guide
 
“Engaging and incisive”
The Independent on Sunday

CLINTON BAPTISTE is… STRATOSPHERIC!                    

From Bolton via Vegas…..to the stars!

Following the massive success of his last UK tour, clairvoyant medium and psychic Clinton Baptiste has gone exploring, stateside.

Not quite Caesar’s Palace but a series of shows in Vegas have lifted his celebrity status up a notch.  Let him take you on a journey from his humble roots via the dazzling heights of Sin City…..

…..and on to an amazing finale that will heal the world.

Viva Las Vegas…Viva Clinton!

Clinton Baptiste is the hapless, unsubtle psychic from Peter Kay’s Phoenix Nights. 
Following his sell out tour of 2019-20 “The Paranormalist Returns”, Clinton has taken a whirlwind tour of the US.
Hear his tales of rubbing shoulders with the hippy dippy new-agers from La La Land and how he hits the big time in Vegas with his lavish psychic show.
For a while things couldn’t be better.  A new lease of life, new teeth, new hair and a buttock lift. (Both of them.)  
But a humbly spiritual man at heart, Clinton realises that sometimes all that glitters ain’t gold and now returns to you, his beloved British audience to once again conjure up those pure selfless gifts he was born with.

For tonight, ladies and gentlemen, Clinton will all cast fame and fortune aside……and heal the world!

“From the moment Lowe dances onto the stage the audience absolutely loves his show.”
BRUCE DESSAU

“unashamedly crowdpleasing”
BEYOND THE JOKE

 “old-fashioned comedy at its best.”
British Theatre Guide

“I would highly recommend grabbing a ticket. Seats are selling fast and you certainly won’t be disappointed with this great evening of comedy.”
British Theatre Guide

“nothing short of genius.”
On Yorkshire Magazine

The Noise Next Door: Run Wild!
(For Ages 5 - 105)

It’s time for YOU to take control in the comedy show where anything can happen. Join the stars of Britain’s Got Talent (ITV1) and The One Show (BBC One) for an hour of songs, scenes and gags all based on what the audience want to see. Join comedy’s most exhilarating act for a show that’s fun for literally everyone.
 
The Noise Next Door have appeared on BBC One, BBC Three, ITV1, BBC Radio 1 and BBC Radio 4, and have performed alongside the likes of Michael McIntyre, Katherine Ryan, and Harry Hill.
 
“World-class comedy”  ***** USA Weekly
“Comedy masterpiece” ***** ThreeWeeks
“Fabulous” ***** Latest
“Immense” ***** Broadway Baby

(Ages 5+)

The Noise Next Door: In Charge

The quickest wits in comedy are charging into their sixth national tour with a spectacular new show that will trample your expectations.

The charismatic quartet have always astonished with their ability to spin audience suggestions into comedy gold, but for this show they’re putting you, the audience, in charge in brilliant and bombastic new ways.
 
Join comedy’s unstoppable force for an evening like no other... Hilarious scenes! Mind-blowing songs! Finely tuned anarchy!
 
The Noise Next Door are twelve time sell-out veterans of The Edinburgh Fringe and have appeared on BBC One, ITV1, BBC Three and BBC Radio 4. They have also appeared alongside the likes of Michael McIntyre, Katherine Ryan, Romesh Ranganathan and Harry Hill.

“Hilarious... A superior kind of chaos” Telegraph
“21st century comedy at its finest and funniest.” The Stage
“Comedy gold... Staggeringly well executed.” Guardian
“Phenomenal” Daily Mirror

(15+)

Jayde Adams: The Ballad Of Kylie Jenner's Old Face 
 
Since her first stand-up special launched on Amazon Prime in 2020 it's received a huge amount of critical acclaim, amassing a staggering 60 million views across social media and longlisted for the Best Variety Special Emmy in the Hollywood Reporter Predictions. Don’t miss your chance to see her hit show in venue’s nationwide this Autumn.
 
If you want to be a 'successful independent woman person' you better have something you want to say and you better be wearing a Serious Black Jumper™. In this 5-star show, Jayde (as seen hosting Channel 4's Snackmasters & Crazy Delicious) will rifle through all the noise and self-promotion and figure out what's actually going on. 
 
“she delivers a show that unites the political with the personal in a way that many comics aim for, but few pull off with this sort of aplomb.” 
★★★★ (The Times)  
 
“winning combination of common sense and raw heart… Ironically, by taking year off singing Adams has really found her voice” 
★★★★ (Telegraph)

Rescheduled from Monday 14th September 2020 and Monday 19th April 2021

After two sell out Monday Matinee shows Andy returns with another Monday afternoon extravaganza of live entertainment from some of the UK’s finest performers.

Andy’s special guests will be the king of Swing himself Mr. Paul Pashley along with award winning vocalist Rosie Plummer and Plaza favourite Marilyn Royle. Resident matinee pianist Steve Ramsbottom adds to a variety show of the highest order with Soul, Swing and Pop on the Plaza menu. Welcome back the good times and book early to enjoy a brilliant afternoon of entertainment with Stockport’s premier live entertainer and his fabulous guests.

The multi award-winning antidote to panel games will be recording part of its 75th series for the BBC at The Lowry in Salford.  Join chairman Jack Dee and panel for an unmissable evening of inspired nonsense.

“Whether the teams are singing the words of one song to the tune of another, making up serial rhymes or entering the mythic maze of Mornington Crescent, they have now become the National Theatre of fun” - Gillian Reynolds, Daily Telegraph

The evening will be recorded for broadcast on BBC Radio 4 and will finish no later than 10.30pm

---

The checking of COVID Certification is a condition of entry to the venue.

As this theatre meets safety standards we are removing social distancing and will run the theatre at capacity, which we are delighted about. To enable this, event organisers need to follow the Government’s “Events and Attractions” guidance which requires us to risk assess and put control measures in place to safeguard all who come to the event. The guidance recommends all event organisers consider using the NHS COVID pass where there are large, crowded settings where people are likely to be in close proximity to others outside their household. We appreciate that not everyone will be comfortable with this request to gain entry and may have strong opinions on it, but this is the advice for organisers of different types of events and is an agreement in place with other major broadcasters for the safety of the audience, venue staff , production team and cast. We wanted to explain why the safety measures are in place and hope they don’t cause too much inconvenience. We are really looking forward to seeing those of you who can make it as we’re delighted we’re able to record with audiences again.

All guests (age 18 and over) will need to provide either one of the following certification:

1. A negative COVID-19 lateral flow test result (taken in the 48 hours prior to attending the Event) from a UK Government-approved test provider (either via a home kit or via a test centre), with certification shown via email or text;

OR  2. a double COVID-19 vaccination received at least 2 weeks prior to attending the Event, which guests shall be required to show evidence of via: (a) the NHS App for Ticket Holders in England or (b) via the approved certification routes for Ticket Holders from Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland. Vaccination cards will not be accepted as evidence.

OR 3. proof of natural immunity based upon a positive PCR test taken within 180 days of the Event (after completion of isolation period)

Attendees under the age of 18 will be asked for verbal confirmation (by them or by a parent or guardian on their behalf) that they have not received a positive test for COVID-19 in the last 10 days and are not displaying symptoms of COVID-19.

Failure to comply will result in the relevant guest being denied entry and no refunds will be provided in these circumstances.

Face coverings are encouraged throughout the performance and around the venue.

In the lead up to the event, to help minimise the spread of coronavirus, we ask that you do not attend the show if you begin to develop any of the symptoms of coronavirus or if you have come into close contact with someone who has tested positive for coronavirus.

Please ensure you have downloaded the QR code from your Covid pass using the NHS app before attending the show as WiFi may be limited at the venue.

They have promised you the guide to everything with a book, now they must follow this up to show you in person how much they really know!

This is a chance for them to answer the questions you never knew you needed answering. Essentially the questions they want answering.

We have been promised experiments, vast audience participation, the possibility of laughter, gunge??!! and hopefully something a little different than you may have expected…

In the Rutherford and Fry's comprehensive guidebook, they tell the complete story of the universe and absolutely everything in it - skipping over some of the boring parts. It's a celebration of the weirdness of the cosmos, the strangeness of humans and the very fact that amid all the mess, we can somehow make sense of life.

What follows is a collection of our favourite stories of how our senses deceive us, of how reality is not quite what it seems, and how science is the one way that we can understand this otherwise bewildering world. Our brains have evolved to tell us all sorts of things that aren't true: the world is flat, the stars are fixed in the heavenly firmament, a day is 24 hours, eating sugary sweets makes kids go nuts at parties. This book is crammed full of tales of how stuff really works. With the power of science, we have bypassed our monkey-brains, and we're going on a journey from the origin of time and space, via planets, galaxies, evolution, the dinosaurs, all the way into our minds, with truly head-scratching questions, that only science can answer:

What is time, and where does it come from?
Why are animals the size and shape they are?
How horoscopes work (Spoiler: they don't, but you think they do)
Does my dog love me?
Why nothing is truly round

Comedian and musician Jon Courtenay is the first ever GoldenBuzzer act to win Britain’s Got Talent.

Long before triumphing in the 2020 final, Jonwas a powerhouse live performer with decades of experience touring the world. Becomepart of Jon’s journey of a lifetime where you will roar with laughter, maybeshed a few tears and definitely be inspired by his music and the hilarioustales of his family, relationships and life on tour. With a soundtrackincluding all his Britain’s Got Talent songs and music spanning the classics torock n roll, you are guaranteed a rip-roaring night of music andcomedy. This will be a night to remember!

“A real winner.” Ant and Dec

“It’s funny, it’s touching, it’s unique to you…thatwas unbelievable.”  David Walliams

“I think this is one of the best Golden Buzzers we’veever had on the show.”  Amanda Holden

“It was magical and done so simply. it made me feel warminside. You nailed it my friend. You ticked every single box.”  Alesha Dixon

“It was just a wonderful audition. You are someone who has workedhard for years and needs a break and I’m sure you will get a huge reaction fromthis, I promise you.” Simon Cowell

***

Please be aware that the Quays Theatre is at the far side of The Lowry’s building. After entering the main doors to the foyer, you should allow time to walk to the Quays Theatre before the show begins, especially if you have mobility difficulties. There are no stairs to negotiate, but there is a long sloping ramp, and wheelchairs are available to borrow if needed.
You can familiarise yourself with the building in advance using our virtual tour  https://thelowry.com/visit-us/access/

Back by popular demand, Paul Zerdin and everyone’s favourite puppets are heading your way with a brand new UK tour in Autumn 2021.

Sam, Albert, Baby, Roger the bodyguard and an urban fox have all survived 2020 locked down with Paul….well nearly. They can’t wait to see you, so get ready to be involved. As well as his hilarious characters ‘Hands Free’ features Paul giving us a glimpse into his own world showing us what it’s like to be able to throw your voice in everyday situations where anything and everything can talk back!

Don’t miss out on your chance to see the winner of America’s Got Talent, the star of London’s Palladium Panto and without doubt one of Britain’s finest entertainers at a theatre near you.


"The best ventriloquist Britain has discovered for many years..."  The Stage

"If you think the words ‘brilliant’ and ‘ventriloquist’ have no place in the same sentence, go and see Paul Zerdin for some brutal re-education"  Evening Standard

"Technically immaculate, it’s what he does with his slick talent that really sets him apart. His relationship with the characters has all the dramatic tension of a real life double act"  The Guardian

www.paulzerdin.com //@paulzerdin

Austentatious is saddling the horses for a Grand Tour of the United Kingdom!

Austentatious is an improvised comedy play starring a cast of the country’s quickest comic performers. Every single show the cast conjures up a brand new ‘lost’ Jane Austen novel based on nothing more than a title suggested by the audience.

The show comes fresh from multiple sellout runs at the Edinburgh Fringe, a weekly residency in London’s West End and a BBC Radio 4 Christmas special. Now Austentatious will be appearing at theatres across the country to entertain and astonish audiences in equal measure.

Previous ‘lost’ masterpieces have included Double 0 Darcy, Game of Scones and The Wickham Man, and no two shows are ever the same. Performed in period costume with live musical accompaniment, this is a Regency treat guaranteed to delight Austen novices and die-hard fans alike.

★★★★★ “Ridiculously silly…wickedly funny” – The Times
★★★★ “Brilliant…these are comedians at the top of their game” – The Telegraph
★★★★ “A joy to behold” – The Guardian
★★★★ “Supersmart and terrifically funny” – The Scotsman

Austentatious said: “We are beyond delighted to be back on the road, and can’t wait to shine a spotlight on some of Austen’s lesser-known ‘classics’ – from Empire Line of Duty to Bennet Like Beckham. Prepare the barouche!”

Austentatious is performed by:

Amy Cooke-Hodgson
Graham Dickson
Charlotte Gittins
Cariad Lloyd
Joseph Morpurgo
Andrew Hunter Murray
Daniel Nils Roberts
Rachel Parris
Lauren Shearing

Line-up varies. Each show stars 5-6 members of the cast.

Rob Beckett is back on tour with a brand-new stand-up show. It’s been a busy few years for the Mouth of the South and he’s coming to see you to fill you in and make you laugh.

Host of BBC One’s All Together Now and team captain on Channel 4’s 8 Out Of 10 Cats. He is also the star of BBC One’s Live At The Apollo, Would I Lie To You?, Channel 4’s 8 Out Of 10 Cats Does Countdown, BBC Two’s Mock The Week, ITV’s Play To The Whistle, ITV2’s Celebrity Juice and Sky’s A League of Their Own. And he is a host of Dave’s podcast, The Magic Sponge, alongside Jimmy Bullard and Ian Smith.

Age Guidance: Strictly 14+
Swearing and Adult Content

BORIS JOHNSON replaces Theresa May as PM. Show REWRITTEN.

The 2019 GENERAL ELECTION happens. Show REWRITTEN again.

COVID-19 arrives – show REWRITTEN for the third time.

So the 2019/2020 HEALING THE NATION TOUR has become the 2019/2020/2021 HEALING THE NATION TOUR, and as the tour has gone on, there’s been less and less healing and more and more of the opposite. Admittedly, I could have changed the title but it still seemed strangely appropriate - and some of the gigs have been rescheduled so it would prove confusingto existing ticket holders if the ticket said “HEALING THE NATION” but the show was now called “MY LIFE IN BALLET”.

So, we have the serially rewritten HEALING THE NATION TOUR 2019/2020 now EXTENDED INTO 2021, not so much due to POPULAR DEMAND but more lack of OPEN VENUES. And with NEGATIVE POWERS OF HEALING. Yet this latest, very new version of the show is my FAVOURITE so far.

Broken Robot Productions & So Comedy presents

DRUNK WOMEN SOLVING CRIME: CHRISTMAS SHOW 2021

The hit comedy podcast takes to the stage with a very special, live christmas show!

Drunk Women Solving Crime is a true crime podcast with a twist…of lime. Join writer/comedian hosts Hannah George, Catie Wilkins and Taylor Glenn as they welcome top guests from comedians to crime writers to test out their drunk detective skills. Each episode sees the boozed-up panel tackle personal crime stories, solve true crime cases, and seek justice for your listener crimes. When women sit around and drink, we try to solve the world’s problems. So we’re taking back the night and putting our inebriation to good use. You’re welcome.

Guests to be announced; previous guests include Katherine Ryan, Ricki Lake, Deborah Frances-White, London Hughes, Sara Pascoe, Shazia Mirza and many others!

World-famous prankster and creator of the hugely popular Lee Nelson, is back on stage with TROUBLEMAKER, his sensational new stand-up show.

After showering Sepp Blatter with banknotes, upstaging Kanye West at Glastonbury, and handing Theresa May her P45, the critically acclaimed comedian explores why trouble has followed him from primary school through medical school to lockdown homeschool. And what it’s like to be chased by Donald Trump’s bodyguards, how to make the police laugh while they’re arresting you, and what to do when you’re outed as a Jew by the Ku Klux Klan.

Simon is one of Britain’s most loved comedians following his smash hit BBC shows Lee Nelson’s Well Good Show & Well Funny People, Channel 4’s award-nominated Britain’s Biggest Hoaxer and multiple TV appearances (Live at the Apollo, Sunday Night at the Palladium, The John Bishop Christmas Show, Children In Need, & Channel 4’s Comedy Gala).

After the success of his stand-up show 100% Simon Brodkin, selected by The Guardian and The Evening Standard as one of their ‘Best Comedy Shows’ at the Edinburgh Festival, TROUBLEMAKER is the must-see comedy show of 2021.

“Comedy legend” The Sun

“Hilarious” ★★★★ The Scotsman

“There aren't many better comedians to turn to”  ★★★★ The Telegraph

“Get him out” Donald Trump

We've all had some pondering to do about the fragility of life recently, but don't worry, skinny national treasure Mark Watson has it covered.  At 41, he's halfway through his days on earth, according to the life expectancy calculator app he paid £1.49 for. That life is in the best shape in living memory... but one problem remains, and it really is a huge one.

Spiritual enquiry meets high-octane observational comedy as the 'Taskmaster' survivor, multi-award-winner and “No More Jockeys” cult leader attempts to cram a couple of years of pathological overthinking into an evening of stand-up. Maybe we'll even solve the huge problem. Doubt it, though.

★★★★★ Telegraph

★★★★ Times | Independent | Metro | Time Out | Chortle

★★★★★ “Quite unlike anything else I’ve seen in almost 20 years of covering the Fringe...witty, warm, perfectly judged” Telegraph

★★★★ "This is a stand-up operating at the very top of his game" Independent

★★★★“He always displays an innate understanding of what the audience wants...creating a bespoke experience for every gig, an added flourish to a strong hour of stand-up” Chortle

★★★★ “A quick-fire hour of fun” Metro

Website: markwatsonthecomedian.com
Facebook: @MarkWatsonComedian
Twitter: @WatsonComedian

Funny things happen all the time. Normal events don’t catch the eye but Dave’s special radar instinctively draws him to the small out-of-the-ordinary events and conversations that wash over most of us and pass us by. Once identified, he applies his unique style of exaggerating and elaborating them whilst reminding us that we too have not only witnessed them, it’s probably happened to us! It’s this added dimension, this comedy of association that elevates the event to laugh-out-loud funny.

No wonder Time Out magazine said of him, “Not only a very funny comedian but one of the finest raconteurs around.”